I'm not always a nice person.

I'm not.
In fact, at times, I'm mean. (How's that for a Thanksgiving confession?!) And I've found it easier to be mean to the people dearest to me.

And, most of the time, I'm not only mean, but I don't forgive easily or do the very least that's asked of me, extend grace.

Those I have the most difficult time extending grace to? My parents and family, my favorite friends (especially once they hurt me), and people who seem ignorant when they don't need to be.

The most difficult part of this, and oh boy does this sound selfish, is not that I hurt them - I expect they'll forgive me - but the most challenging part for me is that I don't know why I act like this! I do care that I hurt them, because I don't want to. But I theorize that if I knew why I acted this way, I'd have some insight into how to stop reacting to life in my old ways.

I know most of these reactions are driven from some form of selfishness - worry about being judged or mocked. Some of it is frustration with others' apparent lack of trying to improve or change - which, of course, I feel best qualified to judge! (Note the sarcasm.)

You see, even this post is selfish in a way. I wanted to write this to vent my own frustration, not as a way to encourage or enlighten you, whatever readership I have.
Maybe I wanted to know someone else out there struggles and wants to find a way to change too.
If you'll excuse me, I need to go apologize.

What about you? Do you need to be more gracious?

Some reading on the topic:
http://www.noelheikkinen.com/2008/10/29/troublingly-common-sins/
http://withoutwax.tv/2008/09/15/the-root-of-bitterness/

Taste in Art = Personality?

So I follow someone who posted their results. Do you think it's true?

I find my results similar to how I think about myself, but I'm interested in any feedback, if you feel like it.

If nothing else, it's a fun test and some interesting paintings!
Enjoy.

Your result for What Your Taste in Art Says About You Test...

Balanced, Secure, and Realistic.

22 Impressionist, 1 Islamic, 5 Ukiyo-e, -19 Cubist, -8 Abstract and -8 Renaissance!

Impressionism is a movement in French painting, sometimes called optical realism because of its almost scientific interest in the actual visual experience and effect of light and movement on appearance of objects. Impressionist paintings are balanced, use colored shadows, use pure color, broken brushstrokes, thick paint, and scenes from everyday life or nature.

People that like Impressionist paintings may not always be what is deemed socially acceptable. They tend to move on their own path without always worrying that it may be offensive to others. They value friendships but because they also value honesty tend to have a few really good friends. They do not, however, like people that are rude and do not appreciate the ideas of others. They are secure enough in themselves that they can listen to the ideas of other people without it affecting their own final decisions. The world for them is not black and white but more in shades of grey and muted colors. They like things to be aesthetically pleasing, not stark and sharp. There are many ways to view things, and the impressionist personality views the world from many different aspects. They enjoy life and try to keep a realistic viewpoint of things, but are not very open to new experiences. If they are content in their lives they will be more than likely pleased to keep things just the way they are.

Take What Your Taste in Art Says About You Test at HelloQuizzy

Final 'Treatment'

What wonderful people we have in Champaign-Urbana!

I just completed my final treatment visit to Dr. Clint (and Courtney!) Check them out: Jackson Chiropractic
They are so nice and helpful! I went in there after my car accident - as recommended by various friends and family.
At the time, I wasn't able to move my shoulder blades independently but after all these weeks, I feel great and have the training to keep up with proper stretches to keep my back healthy.

I have a funny story about the new car - but will post that next, with pictures, as I get the pictures off the camera.

Until later ~

On the move again - EVENTUALLY....

*** UPDATE: This was all such a big misunderstanding - I am looking for a place to live - but the timeline was much longer that I understood. And a lesson on blogging when angry... :)
But more fun news will follow - stick around... ***

Well, I've got to move before October. And I've learned a little lesson about sub-letting with friends.

It is slightly coincidental, I'd just spent this last weekend in Chicago daydreaming about living in the Windy City. Now, it seems I might have my real chance!

A friend is actually looking to move up to Chicago from Champaign about the same time. We both want a place in a trendy/artsy neighborhood. And are open to suggestions if you have any. We'll be looking at Pilsen, Lincoln Square, Ukranian Village, and Wicker Park as it is.

And, I've already found some cool options on jobs to start off with up there. Though, I'd be very excited if someone were to call me and say, "I've got a place for you! When can you come to check out the office and hear more about the job?!" (A daydream - but I have some ideas on how to get recruited! More on that later.)

So that's the newest drama of my life. There is a chance I'll hear back from the various jobs I've applied to here in Champaign, and I am still looking around at apartments here too.

I've said it before... drama, drama, drama!

New Experiences

So today's blog was going to be about some writing suggestion, web popularity... etc. But after a new experience I had today, I changed my mind about the content.

You see, today I got in my very first car accident. No worries - I am alright, save a few very sore muscles and a crushed spirit.

In the meantime, I wait for an insurance company to call - oh! And it was not my fault at all. They guy says he didn't see me, and I say I didn't see him stop at the stop sign. I didn't have a stop or anything - and he just ran into the front of my car. It's a strange feeling when you get hit - to be cliche' about it, it does feel like slow motion - but not movie-slow motion... It is more like an 'I-can't-believe-this-is-happening' slow-mo. Strange noises and feelings - there was even a funny smell. My car leaked anti-freeze and they cleaned it up. The frame is sort of bent around the engine block, and the bumper is completely off, the side passenger door won't open and and axle is stuck where it is. It took the Chevy Colorado another half a block to stop before he turned around to come back to the accident site.

Anyways - I think I'll have the photos uploaded before I get done with the post -

Other 'new experience' was seeing The Dark Knight last night - Woah & Intense are the best words I have for it. The aren't kidding about the 'darkness' - It took most of the day today to get over some of the emotions that lingered from seeing the film. There were parts that were startling and some that were gross, some that were funny and some that were heart-breaking. It was an epic film. It deserves all the great reviews, attention, and record-setting release it's managed! I doubt I ever need to watch it again, that's the power of the imagery.