The Everyday Life of Bobbi (that's me). . .

NEVER AGAIN SEARS!

2010-12-21T10:02:00.001-06:00

Dear Sears (and Sears.com)
I will NEVER order from SEARS again! Purchasing online was completely difficult.

Then, a day or 2 after my order, two of my items are simply canceled because they are out of stock. I checked and could still have ordered them.. so they knowingly leave items available for order online when they are completely out of stock. And don't allow for back-ordering.

Additionally, I paid extra money to have my product shipped at a higher priority and the day it was supposed to arrive was the day I received notification that it actually shipped.

So now, my family member will be out a Christmas present because I relied upon this website and company!

I am clearly very disappointed. And I will be warning my friends and family not to trust your company either.

Sincerely,
Bobbi

Opening..

2010-08-05T16:30:00.003-05:00

It's August. Around here, that means I'm SOL. It really just means I'm busy at work.. and can't anticipate having free time. It's only one month out of the year. We manage.

But it is also exciting. Party and open-house planning. Plus, I learn to enjoy the free time a little more. (Though, I'm kind of sad, I don't know if/when I'll get to see Eclipse!) And we're opening the door of the future for all the new and returning students to campus. All the new things they will learn and teach and experience. It even gets me excited.

Tomorrow, I'm hosting my first dinner party at my new house! It's amazing to think about opening my HOME up to family for the first time.. it's not a fancy meal or planned activities.. I'm not even 100% I'll have enough chairs! But I'm excited to show off the work M has done, and talk about the plans for the future projects.

And, I'm still so excited to go home every night, and see that as a good sign that I picked a really great place!

Off for a second round of grocery shopping, for a few items I missed on my initial list. And then house cleaning!

Transitions..

2010-07-19T14:42:00.003-05:00

My life has been full of them..

Primarily, I bought a house! So my life as been full of cleaning, and moving, and rearranging. Plus, we've already begun the remodel/transformation phases of work on the house..

Plus, there was a vacation in there somewhere, and lots of changes at work.. and the end of a school year.. Infact, we're nearly at the start of a new school year!

With all that going on, I still grasp at dreams for a new blog space, one designed and maintained by hand and more "me".. I'm kind of sick of the template version of my story.

So.. as I get a home office up and running, and time on a computer to design and blog.. you'll see changes.. and will be in the midst of transition with me..

Easter..

2010-04-03T09:22:00.005-05:00

Happy Easter.

Behind all the eggs, bunnies, lilies, and seasonal baked goods, it's time to pause to remember the greatest sacrifice in Christian belief.. In an ideal world, we'd always remember the sacrifice, the grace, the redemption, and the renewal that surrounds this gift of love. But in this world, we all forget, we all get selfish, and we all need to be reminded from time to time.

Yesterday, I came across a very interesting read that incorporates the elements of the Easter story and fascinating cultural elements from the Sawi.. It's best if you just read it: The Peace Child on (In)Courage.

Today, we'll celebrate Easter weekend with M's family - dying eggs, baking, fresh pineapple, play time with the new kitty, cream bread (a new experience for me), and a few gifts.. And tomorrow, we'll attend a very early morning service at church and eat what it promised to be a large breakfast.

What are your favorite Easter traditions?

Edit: Plans for tomorrow are on hold a bit due to a 3.5 visit to the hospital this evening. Pneumonia and age really isn't the best combination. Prayers for M's mom, specifically that her oxygen level would be restored quickly are much appreciated.

Inspired: Pin Princess..

2010-03-31T07:47:00.007-05:00

After seeing this post yesterday: Alice Swap Sent from Sam at incy wincy stitches, I was inspired to create my own pins to give as gifts this weekend...

So here they are.. The first (purple) is for M's mother and the red one is for his sister. I don't have the same pin as what Sam used on her Alice pin. And I have two solutions.. The first is to find silver beads big enough to get around the curve of the pin (the small one you can see on the purple doesn't make it around the bend). But if that doesn't work, I thought about creating a spring/twist of wire that I can use to space out the charms and then it would also help to keep the whole lot in place. I'll have to play with it all a little more.

I did end up using some straight jeweler's pins to assemble some of the beads. I cheated with most of the colored beads (they were purchased as sets).. but the charms with the white square beads, the silver and graphite colored beads were all my creations.

It was a fairly easy project. Like I said, I cheated a little. But finding the right charms was fun. (Especially when it included a very coinicidental running into M at Hobby Lobby!) And making the pins took about 20 minutes a piece.. I like them because they're fun and interesting yet very simple. Some might even say they're charming! (hehe)

I'm excited to see how they go over once they're given as gifts..

Spring Break - CERT Learning..

2010-03-22T11:47:00.002-05:00

It's Spring Break here in Illinois. Students have been kicked from the dorms.. most to go home or somewhere warm. Campus (and the hallways) are noticeably quieter.

I have this day here at work, and then 4 days of training in Springfield. I'm excited to go. It's like a little business trip, but not somewhere too dangerous or far away. In fact, plans are that Mom and Dad will come up for supper one night too!

Life is chugging on.. Busy this week, travels the next 3 to 5 weekends in a row.. It was a very rough time of year last year. Lots of time with family, but at a high cost of a very dear and loved one. (Grandpa, we miss you!)

We watched LIFE last night.. most people report being annoyed by Oprah's voice as the narrator. I think M and I were ultimately too distracted by some of these amazing creatures to care who was sharing their stories.

And last night also saw the passing of the new Health Care bill.. I was dreadful last night as I heard the news. Not because I wish to withhold health care or benefits from people. Or because I fought hard to keep the bill from passing.. I felt dread because I've done so little (like most of us, I suspect) to understand the bill, or care about what my representatives say about it, or how they'd vote. I felt dread because I didn't participate in the process. Then to wake this morning and start thinking about how poorly run the Social Security System is, or how we're so behind in fraudulent claims to Medicare, etc.. How can we add this to a government's plate that is already so careless with spending and policies?!

(sigh)

Okay - so the world will keep turning. We'll all find a way to get by, and make choices to be selfish or selfless.. We'll have food, and shelter - usually at greater expense and costs to the planet and to other countries than we'll ever admit. Convenience and choice will be the bonus we see as 'deserved.' And lack of time (and over-entertainment) will still be our leading excuse.

Do something for someone else today.. and tell me about it, please?!
Make a difference somehow..

I haven't found my thing to do just yet.. but will update when I do.
Thanks for reading my ramblings..

Friends..

2010-03-17T10:50:00.005-05:00

So, I haven't really shared the story that brought this wonderful man and best friend into my life. But I will, sometime.

Today, I just want to share a great milestone in that journey.. I've been 'friends' with M for a year now.. (thanks Facebook!) :P

How little did I know how important a decision to be 'friends' with this guy from work would be.. I've found love, acceptance, joy, humor, adventure, challenge, courage, and security all wrapped up and so perfectly suited to me. (Gushy, but who cares?!)

So, what has happened in a year?

(Yippie! I get to make a list!)
- Lost a beloved Grandfather
- Celebrated 2 family weddings, and a few friends'
- Celebrated a few family additions (2 born, one on the way)
- Exercised.. but need to do more.. (I will run again!)
- Moved into an apartment of my own.. which I love.
- Bought new tires for my car.
- Did two tax returns! (Okay, so last year's was done last minute, and this year's was done early!)
- Got into two more car accidents.. Everyone is fine.
- Celebrated new jobs with friends, and mourned the loss of others.
- Learned more about email, customer service, management, and process creation at work

With the influence of M:
- Learned how to split holiday/vacation times with multiple families..
- Visited 13 states.. 2 or 3 for the first time..
- Found joy in taking pictures with a 'good' camera
- Attended every home Illinois Men's Hockey games! (And a lot of away games..)

Who knows what the future holds..

Pi(e) Sunday!

2010-03-15T20:20:00.003-05:00

Sunday was March 14th. Date: 3/14

M and I celebrated it as Pi Day. We made quiche for lunch and an apple pie in the afternoon.

Quiche isn't exactly pie, but it turned out really well. Just simple: crust, a little bit of onion, cubed ham, shredded 'italian' mix cheese, eggs, cream.. It had a lot of flavor.

Is it me, or do all quiches take nearly twice as long to bake than the directions specify?!

But I was really proud of it.. Former roommate T would be uber proud! (Right Crispy T?!)

Anyways.. the apple pi(e) was a cinch, we used canned apples, but I added spices.. cinnamon and nutmeg. The slits were really cute, but didn't turn out so well once it baked. Oh well. It was delicious and perfect with vanilla ice cream.

"Spring" WishList

2010-03-05T16:11:00.002-06:00

Yes, Okay.. taking the hint from a few other blogs.. Annalea's and Kelle's

I am making a Spring To Do List.. (And eventually, I'll have a FUN Spring list like Kelle's)..

Apartment To Do List:

Wash Everything (clothes I never wear, the bathrobe I only use in winter, etc.)
Hang/Fold/Store ALL Clothing (Everything will have a place to be put away or purged)
Purge books
Get book shelves from parents' house
Put all books on a book shelf (shelves are still at parents' house)
Sew a cover for futon cushion
Hang paintings in frames
Purge/Shred/File all paperwork (limit on amount?)
Organize/purge craft supplies
Get work table/desk secondhand (freecycle, craigslist, ReStore, or garage sale)
Get cozy chair (papasan?) and lamp for other side of bedroom
Reorganize bath closet

Personal Goals/To Do:

Business plan for Wedding Consultant
Anger management
Adopt attitude of go-with-the-flow more often
More focus on task at hand
Organized on information and spending

Craft Project Wish List:

Granny Square Blanket

Spring is in the air..

2010-03-05T10:54:00.004-06:00

I thought about keeping a running tally of how many 'facial tissues' I use while typing this post.. but I'll spare you those details.

I love spring.. and I love that everyone is updating their blogs, their offices, and houses to reflect this welcome change in weather, moods, amount of sun, and soon, flowers! I can't wait for sandals, jackets, and skirts.. and running outside!

But I must confess.. I HATE spring days too.. Spending most of the night with a stuffy nose, then in the morning sneezing my head off.. and the rest of the day feeling like my head is in a cloud..

So, eventually, soon.. I will post my Spring WishList.. it might even happen today, after the allergy medicine takes effect.. but before I can't hold my head up from drowsiness. It's a magical world..

First Tuesday, March 2010

2010-03-02T10:35:00.012-06:00

10am.. Sirens go off.. the radio (and tv) break into their BLAHHH, BLAHHH, BLAHHHH warnings.. an email appears in two inboxes.. and a text makes my phone buzz next to me..

It's just a test.. and a reminder. "It's tornado season again."

I'm prepared, I think. I know what I'm supposed to say.. but my gut always reminds me, I will never be completely prepared.. I have a supply of water, canned food, flashlight, batteries.. etc. but as I'm learning from first-responder friends.. and from my own adventures.. You're never completely prepared for the mental, emotional, (yes, even physical) and personal experiences you will encounter anytime you're part of a disaster.

Admittedly, my 'emergency kit' is in shambles. I think I've scalped from it a few times this year.. so project.. get that in order, and include cat preparedness too!

But what else, besides an Emergency Kit, can you do to be prepared for any disaster?!

A few thoughts, and also some plugs for what I'm involved with.

Take a CERT Class..Those in the Champaign Area - check out the new site for the Champaign Area CERT program. And look for a class this spring (TBA)!

Take a Weather Spotting (SKYWARN) Class..I took this course last year or the year before. It's fascinating.

Know where to get your local weather.. There's a ton of places, but what if power or 'the web' isn't working? Local TV stations, radio, weather.com, NOAA Weather Radio,.. or try the iNWS (Beta) Alert system.. Last summer, I set it up so I got email alerts for my area via the iNWS system to my Gmail, then filtered it on my account to send a text to my cell phone! Nearly instant alerts to my phone.. It worked well for me, but it takes a bit to get a good feel for what exactly you want to be notified for in the middle of the night.. I'm still working on that selection..

Check out what other are saying about preparedness.. I like the Red Cross Blog - Oregon Trail Chapter

Get updates from FEMA and other Emergency Management agencies..

Anyways.. that's just a very brief look into what I look at when it comes to preparedness.. Any other suggestions for readers?!

(Photo is from a drive a year ago from Kentucky into southern Illinois.)

Gotta check it out..

2010-03-01T14:25:00.003-06:00

Just a quick post to tell you how inspired (and jealous) I am of Tara...

She's in Crete.. technically, she'll soon be on her way to Athens.. But she and Tyler are bicycling on the other side of the world..

http://www.goingslowly.com/

Check out their blog! I love their nearly daily updates.. nearly feels like a few minutes of European vacation when I stop to spend time reminiscing their day with them..
http://journal.goingslowly.com/

Love to you Tara and Tyler.. my heart joins you on your adventure!

One project complete..

2010-03-01T09:12:00.004-06:00

She hasn't seen it yet, but the boss is getting a coffee cozy. Not sure how well the 'fun fur' on top will work.. but I know she loves anything with pink!

Hockey season is nearly over, which means, beginning on work to prepare for next year.. organize and tag photos.. layout for a program.. it'll be fun.

Hello MARCH! Lot's going on this month.. hockey tournament, training in Springfield, more changes at work.. more sun and warmer weather..

Today.. I challenge all readers to find someone to say Hello to that you normally don't.. Try it and let me know what happens! :)

Friday WishList..

2010-02-26T09:05:00.007-06:00

Okay - I slacked. I didn't post yesterday. But come on.. the 'Everyday' element is more like.. normal not daily, right?!

Anyways, I promised a new WishList.. but first a review.

Projects I started and worked on this week.. because it makes me feel good! And it's Friday - we should all feel good!

Butterfly Mobile: designed, created, and hung at work! Love it - and so do others!
L's Afghan: I got another row done on it. (Okay, needs much more attention..)
Embroidery Project: Creating an activity quit for a very new, little friend.. NEW craft, AND I did a great job creating a flower, but need to fix my lettering.. Also have beginning fabric to start planning
Care Bear Cross-Stitch: I already have 4 or 5 Care Bears created.. Currently working on Good Luck Bear (Perfect for welcoming long-awaited March). Finished project is yet unknown.. either Months of the year magnets, or squares for a quilt.. Open to other ideas.

On to the WishList:

Re-work the coffee cozy.. I made one a few weeks ago, and it's not crocheted tightly enough, so I need to make another. Thankfully, these go really fast.. 20min project!
I love this DIY Inspiration Board from Pink and Polka Dot .. now, I just need to inherit a cool frame! :)
Update on 2 bathrooms in "less than 10 mins," as inspired by NestingPlace suggestions: Black bath rug, green bath rug, white and black monographed towels (new embroidery project, need a how-to though..), dish/cup for green bathroom to hold toothbrushes. (All on the 'find a good deal' or 'green' option.)
Embroidery buttons.. altering the idea from Feeling Stitchy so it's not necessarily buttons.. but maybe pins.. or maybe I've found the perfect project for the bottle caps I want to be collecting.. (REQUEST: I'll take all clean, slightly or less bent bottle-caps. The kind that come off of glass bottles.)

Anyways.. how's that for a rambling entry for a beautiful, sunny Friday?!
Have a great weekend!
Cheers!

Is it Friday?!

2010-02-24T16:35:00.003-06:00

Okay - not complaining here.. but everyone here seems to agree.. it feels like Friday! But it's actually Wednesday - YES I just had to confirm that with someone else!

I just spent all day saying the same thing but solving all kinds of different questions.. feels good.
And now.. writing to do. Yes, my job involves solving problems and writing.. cool beans!

Today is a workout day! I'm excited that I have a date with a treadmill! And my iPod! It's been so worth the purchase last spring. I need to spend more time with it! (Picture later.)

Anyways .. we had a dusting of snow today.. and it actually made me a little happy today! But ready for sun and warmer weather. Tomorrow is a new day.. can't wait!

Keep smiling until then! (Tomorrow will bring more wishlist items for crafts!)

"New Post" - to be Thankful

2010-02-23T15:11:00.005-06:00

Today, my spirit needs some exercise in being thankful (also means less time being distraught.)

So today, I am thankful. I am thankful for the sun shining through the windows here at work. I'm thankful I have a job. I am thankful that I have friends to lean on and co-workers that care about me. I am thankful for a person in my life that cares enough to have misunderstandings with and to resolve those misunderstandings with, and who loves me so much throughout the whole process. I'm thankful for laughter and understanding people in my life. And for kitty cats that love me and are sweet and cuddly in the morning.

This morning, F came up with the typical (for him) headbutt to my forehead, and purring. (He stopped purring for a long time when I brought S into our home.) His look was so sweet - a mix between 'Good morning, I love you.' and 'Do you love me?' and 'Are you going to get up and feed me soon?!' and 'Your alarm went off, don't you want to wake up?' Isn't he sweet?! :) Really, he woke me up, to curl next to be and get petted. He was also happy that I could turn the bathroom faucet on for him to get a drink and eventually scooped some food for him too.

(FYI: this picture is of my 28th birthday - F stayed curled up next to me while I opened a number of presents. Anymore, he simply wants to curl up in my lap whenever I am just settled on the couch.)

Tranquility..

2010-02-22T12:53:00.007-06:00

Tranquility.. Doesn't always happen on purpose. Usually it's an accident.. in my life anyways.

But I like tranquil items. For awhile, I've wanted to make an origami crane mobile. When I mentioned this to M on Friday, he thought it'd be a great project for what I'd declared was our 'crafty weekend'. So, we got some new folding paper and I dug out my older paper. He had the great idea to use floral wire instead of wooden dowel rods.

After doing some folding, we both agreed that a butterfly was more serene (and easier to fold). And I'd already folded around 50 or so cranes for a cousin's wedding years ago.. So the Butterfly won.

Which makes me really happy actually. Having these butterflies hovering over my desk in my office makes me feel like spring is really on the way (even as we look down the barrel of another snow storm this week..)

Project:

Origami Paper
Folding instructions
Clear thread (or fishing line, or dental floss)
Gauge 20 or so floral wire
Wire cutter/bender
Needle
Patience (optional, but highly recommended)

We folded different sized of butterflies ( http://www.origami-fun.com/origami-butterfly.html ), then I laid out the butterflies in a pattern I wanted.

I threaded floss through their backs at various places - different spots will give different 'flight paths'. And I measured and cut the floral wire to the length I wanted based on my pattern. M worked on tying the wire to each other. Then it took two of us to really balance and hang the mobile. (Re-assembling after transporting the mobile is really hard and not recommended.)

But look at the lovely outcome!

Projects and Books..

2010-02-18T09:29:00.004-06:00

I have all this time available in my head.. time to read books, finish craft projects.. And the wishlist of projects and books grows nearly everyday!

This is the most recent add to my wishlist: http://www.lionbrand.com/patterns/90251AD.html?noImages=0 Of course, it requires time and yarn and time... Not that I don't have any, but my schedule for that time is always up in the air. I wish I could just crochet in all my breaks and down times.. Like five minutes here and twenty minutes there.. But I never seem to have my project with me, plus, the current project is an afghan for L. It takes up some space, even 20 rows into it..

Maybe by posting my wishlist here, I'll be a little more accountable to the work I want to do. I started Lovebirds in January, and finished one.. it looked all kinds of crazy. So I think I gave up. But tonight.. I'm tackling more of that afghan, I promise L!

Anyone have some free yarn?! I can't seem to get accepted into our local free-cycle.

Communication Matters..

2010-02-17T11:12:00.002-06:00

Especially when you've had a bad day. But also when you're having a good day and you feel like you should learn from the bad day you had yesterday.. Yup, welcome to my world.

Besides the searing pain and anger that's self directed, the shame and emotional ache that follows bouts of frustration, there's also the need to resolve the strained relationships. Done. Time to move on.. "Don't let things affect you so much." "Let it roll off your back." "Use a softer tone."

Thanks for the advice, but honestly, sometimes it's all too late. And here's the pride in me, I felt like I deserved to have a day to struggle with life and all of it's pressures. And to some degree, it felt good to just be frustrated about it, and not put on the happy (fake) face.

Important thing, today is a new day. My kitties were affectionate and sad to see me leave for work. My co-workers are hilarious (currently listening to the Seasame Street 'Aliens' discover a phone..). Work-out and some laundry tonight. There are things to look forward to and work to be done..

And today, I'm happy to do it all.

Wicked..

2010-02-16T15:27:00.003-06:00

That's the best way to describe my attitude. Yup, I'm the most pleasant person to be around today. No one needs the list of complaints, but pretty much, if you have a heartbeat, an opinion, and a will that's as strong or stronger than mine, you're on my list today.

Sympathy is reserved only for lessor creatures and those otherwise identified as spineless jellyfish, who no one really wants to be around anyways.

Sorry world. You're all just too much to handle today.

Valentine's Day..

2010-02-15T14:05:00.003-06:00

Yesterday was Valentine's Day.. and the first time in my life that I've had someone to share it with (stress-free). It was mostly just a relaxing day of hanging out - watching some DVD's (Mostly Big Bang Theory = HILARIOUS), just laughing and eating. Oh, and some presents.

I gave some fun gifts - tee-shirt, and 2 seasons of Bones. I got some beautiful flowers (white roses and purple wildflowers), a home-made red-velvet cake, LEGOS, 'The Perfect Man' (solid chocolate candy), a charm for my Pandora bracelet, and a stuffed-frog!

M made beef stew and biscuits for supper and it was delicious.
On top of all that.. we got fresh snow overnight too! :)

Support..

2010-02-11T10:25:00.005-06:00

Later today we're showing support to a co-worker and a friend who's had a loss in his family. Six of us are going to the visitation. This will be my fourth visitation since last March.. They don't get easier.

Grandpa's, admittedly, was the most difficult, last March. I still miss him terribly. And the next two were to show support to a friends that had a family member pass. And then in December, it was to say good-bye to a my best-friend's step-dad. Loss of any kind is difficult. But especially when it is unexpected. "Death comes unexpectedly!" Is the quote I always remember from one of my favorite child-hood movies, Pollyanna. But I love the message of that movie, to go out and live and make life better for others.

Anyways - that's why I always try to remind people how special they are to me.. I just got out all of the Valentine's Day cards I was planning on.. and a few I thought of as I went..

I got a lovely note yesterday in a card.. The card has "CSI: Champaign" and a guy flat on his face, two suits bent over him and a speech bubble, "Looks like Jim was bored to death." But my note inside says, "He must have never met you. Your excitement and joy spreads to everyone nearby. There are dull times and there are Bobbi times, the two never overlap!"

How sweet! It's a fun perspective on me.. as of course, I get bored with myself all the time! Why do you think I have so many friends?! :)

Have a good day - and make it interesting and important!

"I believe he's up to no good.."

2010-02-10T12:22:00.003-06:00

My response, at work, is "Usually the case, around here." I work with some of the most fun, and caring people. It's wonderful. Not only is it great to have a job, but also to have one I can really care about.

Which is why it's so difficult when you start your day off with reports of how we failed to provide outstanding service to someone - especially someone that supports us! (Don't worry, it'll be taken care of..) But it always surprises me how quickly some of the most reliable people can still have 'off' phone calls, emails, tickets, and days.. All it takes is someone being mean, or lack of knowledge or information.. ignorance sets some people off.. We've all had bad service, but when we do.. it has this terrible cascading effect, doesn't it?! The server at a restaurant drops a plate in the back, gets yelled at or pressure by their supervisor and it shows in how they treat the next customer they serve.. but then, more often, I suspect, the restaurant customer then goes back to their job, or onto an errand where they're rude to the next person they run into.

How often do we recognize this cycle and just break it with grace? Understanding, peace, and love go a long way to create an about-face in our own attitudes, but can also change the 'originating' force. Though, it's interesting to notice, I think honesty and self-awareness need to be present.. the server, in this example, could be honest to say, "I'm having a bad moment here.. I just dropped a plate back there.." Or something like that. And if the customer simply said, "That stinks. I hope your day gets better." Instead of "That's not my problem." Or, "Don't take it out on me!"

But even if the server doesn't have the self-awareness to state this, a person (customer) can still be understanding and patient. They could still be self-aware to see how their service affects their mood and attitude and then stop the cycle.

These are just my thoughts. Wanted to share.. We continue on.. Answering the phones, pounding out emails, and just generally, attempting to make one less annoyance go away. That's our 'coal mine' around here.. How are you improving your world today?!

Inspired..

2010-02-09T15:02:00.003-06:00

So today, I'm facing a rough day at work. It's probably more honest to say, it hasn't been a good month at work. I've faced trials to maintain professionalism, a smile, or just plan be nice, and I have failed time and time again. My manager is pretty amazing and recognizes that my attempts are a success in the face of some of the challenges I've faced. (THANKS KL! You're the best!)

Yes, I know it's been a long time since I posted. Well, I'm feeling inspired. Between finding some new friends on Blogger and reconnecting with a few I've lost touch with.. I want to write and document.. even if/when it isn't all so exciting. So here I go, attempting again..

Things you should know:

-I am working at a professional, full-time job. But under pressures of doing more than before for less money (yes, furloughs attack!). But have some of the greatest co-workers and a wonderful manager.

-I live in my own place. I share, most of the time, with my two cats, Furrrnando and Sam-sam. Bro and sis.. love them, though sometimes they provide humor and frustration. Oh, and I live in a remodeled barn, with a loft! It's super sweet and I hope I can share pictures of it soon!

-I have a special someone in my life. M keeps me laughing and life interesting. We've been seeing each other since June and care very much for each other. I hope that's enough information for the world right now.

-Crafts, photography, movies, cooking, bicycling, running, and travel are at the top of my interests list right now. Hopefully I can get some of that posted up here as life goes by too..

So, you're mostly up-to-date. This last year, 2009, has been full of joys, blessings, struggles, victories, loss, and memories. I hope 2010 can be just as interesting.

Welcome (back)!
b

I'm not always a nice person.

2008-11-29T23:00:00.004-06:00

I'm not.
In fact, at times, I'm mean. (How's that for a Thanksgiving confession?!) And I've found it easier to be mean to the people dearest to me.

And, most of the time, I'm not only mean, but I don't forgive easily or do the very least that's asked of me, extend grace.

Those I have the most difficult time extending grace to? My parents and family, my favorite friends (especially once they hurt me), and people who seem ignorant when they don't need to be.

The most difficult part of this, and oh boy does this sound selfish, is not that I hurt them - I expect they'll forgive me - but the most challenging part for me is that I don't know why I act like this! I do care that I hurt them, because I don't want to. But I theorize that if I knew why I acted this way, I'd have some insight into how to stop reacting to life in my old ways.

I know most of these reactions are driven from some form of selfishness - worry about being judged or mocked. Some of it is frustration with others' apparent lack of trying to improve or change - which, of course, I feel best qualified to judge! (Note the sarcasm.)

You see, even this post is selfish in a way. I wanted to write this to vent my own frustration, not as a way to encourage or enlighten you, whatever readership I have.
Maybe I wanted to know someone else out there struggles and wants to find a way to change too.
If you'll excuse me, I need to go apologize.

What about you? Do you need to be more gracious?

Some reading on the topic:
http://www.noelheikkinen.com/2008/10/29/troublingly-common-sins/
http://withoutwax.tv/2008/09/15/the-root-of-bitterness/

Taste in Art = Personality?

2008-10-23T10:40:00.002-05:00

So I follow someone who posted their results. Do you think it's true?

I find my results similar to how I think about myself, but I'm interested in any feedback, if you feel like it.

If nothing else, it's a fun test and some interesting paintings!
Enjoy.

Your result for What Your Taste in Art Says About You Test...

Balanced, Secure, and Realistic.

22 Impressionist, 1 Islamic, 5 Ukiyo-e, -19 Cubist, -8 Abstract and -8 Renaissance!

Impressionism is a movement in French painting, sometimes called optical realism because of its almost scientific interest in the actual visual experience and effect of light and movement on appearance of objects. Impressionist paintings are balanced, use colored shadows, use pure color, broken brushstrokes, thick paint, and scenes from everyday life or nature.

People that like Impressionist paintings may not always be what is deemed socially acceptable. They tend to move on their own path without always worrying that it may be offensive to others. They value friendships but because they also value honesty tend to have a few really good friends. They do not, however, like people that are rude and do not appreciate the ideas of others. They are secure enough in themselves that they can listen to the ideas of other people without it affecting their own final decisions. The world for them is not black and white but more in shades of grey and muted colors. They like things to be aesthetically pleasing, not stark and sharp. There are many ways to view things, and the impressionist personality views the world from many different aspects. They enjoy life and try to keep a realistic viewpoint of things, but are not very open to new experiences. If they are content in their lives they will be more than likely pleased to keep things just the way they are.

Take What Your Taste in Art Says About You Test at HelloQuizzy

Final 'Treatment'

2008-10-22T13:23:00.001-05:00

What wonderful people we have in Champaign-Urbana!

I just completed my final treatment visit to Dr. Clint (and Courtney!) Check them out: Jackson Chiropractic
They are so nice and helpful! I went in there after my car accident - as recommended by various friends and family.
At the time, I wasn't able to move my shoulder blades independently but after all these weeks, I feel great and have the training to keep up with proper stretches to keep my back healthy.

I have a funny story about the new car - but will post that next, with pictures, as I get the pictures off the camera.

Until later ~

On the move again - EVENTUALLY....

2008-08-20T15:00:00.003-05:00

*** UPDATE: This was all such a big misunderstanding - I am looking for a place to live - but the timeline was much longer that I understood. And a lesson on blogging when angry... :)
But more fun news will follow - stick around... ***

Well, I've got to move before October. And I've learned a little lesson about sub-letting with friends.

It is slightly coincidental, I'd just spent this last weekend in Chicago daydreaming about living in the Windy City. Now, it seems I might have my real chance!

A friend is actually looking to move up to Chicago from Champaign about the same time. We both want a place in a trendy/artsy neighborhood. And are open to suggestions if you have any. We'll be looking at Pilsen, Lincoln Square, Ukranian Village, and Wicker Park as it is.

And, I've already found some cool options on jobs to start off with up there. Though, I'd be very excited if someone were to call me and say, "I've got a place for you! When can you come to check out the office and hear more about the job?!" (A daydream - but I have some ideas on how to get recruited! More on that later.)

So that's the newest drama of my life. There is a chance I'll hear back from the various jobs I've applied to here in Champaign, and I am still looking around at apartments here too.

I've said it before... drama, drama, drama!

New Experiences

2008-07-21T18:50:00.005-05:00

So today's blog was going to be about some writing suggestion, web popularity... etc. But after a new experience I had today, I changed my mind about the content.

You see, today I got in my very first car accident. No worries - I am alright, save a few very sore muscles and a crushed spirit.

In the meantime, I wait for an insurance company to call - oh! And it was not my fault at all. They guy says he didn't see me, and I say I didn't see him stop at the stop sign. I didn't have a stop or anything - and he just ran into the front of my car. It's a strange feeling when you get hit - to be cliche' about it, it does feel like slow motion - but not movie-slow motion... It is more like an 'I-can't-believe-this-is-happening' slow-mo. Strange noises and feelings - there was even a funny smell. My car leaked anti-freeze and they cleaned it up. The frame is sort of bent around the engine block, and the bumper is completely off, the side passenger door won't open and and axle is stuck where it is. It took the Chevy Colorado another half a block to stop before he turned around to come back to the accident site.

Anyways - I think I'll have the photos uploaded before I get done with the post -

Other 'new experience' was seeing The Dark Knight last night - Woah & Intense are the best words I have for it. The aren't kidding about the 'darkness' - It took most of the day today to get over some of the emotions that lingered from seeing the film. There were parts that were startling and some that were gross, some that were funny and some that were heart-breaking. It was an epic film. It deserves all the great reviews, attention, and record-setting release it's managed! I doubt I ever need to watch it again, that's the power of the imagery.

MeetUp and Marketing

2008-07-18T13:40:00.004-05:00

So we had a C-U Writers MeetUp yesterday evening - what a blast! I was completely encouraged and inspired to write - thus, a blog entry! (Proud of me gals?!)

I am the 'marketing director' at work - which means that when it's time to send out 'business introduction' letters, I get to do it. In my research today on marketing, I came across an article by Seth Godin about various markets. It has a great graphic and is an intriguing idea for me.

The Long Tail and the Dip

The intriguing part for me was in thinking about writing and eventually marketing my writing. No matter what I write - if I plan to make money or even receive interest from my writing, there is some amount of marketing that will happen.

The second part of this idea that is of interest is that some of the biggest hits don't enter the market in a way to achieve the first box - but because of the mirror image of this graph - ie. networking - they become that way - see Seth's next post...

After hearing about LuLu last night at the writer's group - it feels like writing, publishing, and achieving status isn't an impossible dream.
See, exciting!

Blogging Helps... Another attempt

2008-07-17T09:29:00.002-05:00

So I recently got addicted to a work, or rather works, of fiction - (Friends, don't be shocked!) - Twilight. Yes, I am now a vampire fiction fan!

But what gets me even more excited is the renewed enthusiasm I have for writing! I haven't felt this way about writing since I was in college... pre-2004!

So I've done nearly everything but seriously write... Though, I got a half a page written yesterday. I've added writing feeds to my iGoogle page, subscribed to a writer's magazine, I even have an introductory meeting for a MeetUp group of Champaign writers tonight!

One of the writer blogs has inspired this new post - surprise!
Daily Writing Tips - 5 Reasons Why Blogging Improves Your Writing

I am excited practice my editing habits as well - and to improve upon them! But I suppose I need to begin writing material... funny how that cycle works!

So, you will see more of this blogging-ness from me. (If Steven Colbert can make up words, I feel justified.) Until then, keep on enjoying summer!

Fernando

2008-03-09T10:28:00.002-05:00

This is Fernando. He's is nearly a year old. And already bigger than this picture taken on Christmas.

I know we all just changed our clocks forward and we're all excited about spring. But I'm already nostalgic for Christmas - we had snow flurries yesterday, my roommate and I were singing carols while grocery shopping, and ABC.com has the Christmas episode of My So-Called Life up this week.

I feel like I've missed the last two Christmas' - working retail (or food service, I suspect) can do that to you. I am excited that this coming year, I can escape the long nights and early mornings that go into retail employment around the holidays.

hope and good-will

One thing people always complain about during the holidays is the joy, hope, and general good-will people feel and express around Christmas. They complain because it's so seasonal. And we all know, we'd be living in a better world if we could carry that experience through during the whole year. Though, I would argue that it would be tiresome too.

There are ways we can carry it through during every season, and not wear ourselves out - it's by simply keeping our eyes open for opportunities to care for other people. Co-workers, roommates, spouses, children, friends, parents, neighbors, strangers.... any time you put someone else's needs before your own desires you bring a little good-will and hopeful spirit to that time and place. It doesn't even have to 'be' anything or need to be noticed by others... leaving a parking spot open near the front of the store, or being patient at a four-way stop and not being the driver to push others through too quickly.

Other examples:

Writing a letter to a friend - even one that lives nearby.
Letting a stranger talk about dehydrating tomatoes in the baking aisle in Wal-Mart.
Saying "Hi" first to everyone you see. (Fun game!)
Laugh at someone's joke.
Stop using disheartening words to describe people, places, or events... (ie. That restaurant is so dumb.) The more critical you appear, the more friends and acquaintances are likely to fear criticism from you.
Frequently say: please, thank you, you are welcome, I'm sorry, I forgive you, I miss you, I love you, and can I give you a hug.

being joyful

One reason I think it is easy for us to lose that 'Christmas spirit' is simply forgetfulness. For example, a friend was recently struggling during a long-distance relationship to feel confident that she really loved her guy. She described it this way, "We'll talk on the phone for over an hour and everything will seem perfect. But then, half an hour after we hang up, I start to question if I really love him or if we are really a good match."

I suggested she start making a list of all the things they've done together, and all the sweet things he's done for her or said to her. And that she take more pictures of when they're together and hang them on her wall. These are to specifically remind her how much she does care for him and how much he cares for her as well.

But the same actions can help in any relationship or anything that your heart is attached to! I've always had a very tender spot for urban distress - kids, families, people that are homeless, lonely, abandoned, or otherwise tossed aside. I grew up in a small town where there are very few people that are homeless or wandering the streets. But it took me a long time to realize there are people that feel abandoned everywhere! People you work with, live with, shop with, pump gas next to, people alone in the hospital or nursing home, or maybe it's you.

Finding these people, recognizing these people... it can open your heart to them, remind you about compassion and love - and bring you to a point where you can connect with them and remind them of compassion, love, and joy.

We can't just wait for joy to find us - we make it for ourselves in connecting with others and celebrating life.

Unreal... and Christmas....

2006-12-11T23:42:00.000-06:00

I can't even begin to explain or express how odd it feels that it is Christmas time again.... I can't even seem to wrap my brain around the idea that it's been a year since we did all this before!

I'm excited it's Christmas time, but it doesn't feel real. Maybe it will after all the friends with finals are not stressed in a few days....

And what adds to the strange-ness is that I'm in Champaign again. I thought maybe I'd be somewhere else. Or that I'd be in Champaign and it would all look so different.

I suppose that's what I get for having a vision of the future I wanted. I'm back to that classic problem of having desires but trying to live fully-immersed in God's will to the point of releasing my will for HIS.

I'm not sure I get it or know how to do this.... It's a constant struggle to have desires but to also be ready to live out some disappointment but to overcome that disappointment and rejoice in His will. .... SEE... It's not that easy!

Anyone have any ideas?
No wonder life feels difficult these days.
:)

Holding onto Truth . . .

2006-09-29T02:15:00.000-05:00

Holding onto truth is important. Of course, some will always argue about the definition of truth, and if it can be consistently defined, and at the risk of alienating those folks, I don't really care about all that nonsense. Because in the end, we all have 'truths' we hold onto. We all have realities we base our life, our actions, and our reactions upon. Some are completely obscure and others are barely recognizable.

For instance, I believed I was unwanted and pretty much unloved. I know that sounds like a belief, because I 'believed' it. But I was holding onto it as truth.

In reality, it's a big, stinky lie!
I know that might not come as a shock to you, but you must admit, you've felt that way too! And that's just a lie as well. You ARE loved and wanted!

"But Bobbi... you don't know me... or you don't know how my co-worker just treated me... or you won't believe what I grew up thinking... or.... I can't hardly live with the guilt from this one thing I did...."

And you're sort of right. I don't know any of that stuff... or rather, I don't know all that stuff. And if I did, I might have a hard time believing this for you... but the WONDERFUL thing is...

1) Someone knows it all and knows YOU completely.
2) That same someone accepts YOU fully. (And not 'accepted as faulty'!)
3) And even wants YOU eternally!

I know. It's still hard for me to grasp. But look at this evidence!

KNOWN:

"O Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord." -from Psalm 139

ACCEPTED:

"Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me, even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you." -from Psalm 139

WANTED:

"But God will redeem my life from the grave; he will surely take me to himself." -from Psalm 49:15

So what's the connection? Why would God redeem me if he didn't want me forever? God's infinite, and that's what we know it will be like with him after our physical death, that our spiritual eternity will be WITH Him! And why would he want us with him if he didn't accept us?! And how could he accept us if he didn't know us completely?!

The thing about holding onto TRUTH, whatever that truth might be, is that it involves trust!
Truth, to have any real substance in our lives, must hold our trust. (Hence the root-word connection there!) If we believe a simple truth, say... 'Gravity pulls things to the ground.' We must trust that it is true. Sometimes this trust is apparent, and we make the conscious effort to trust, but sometimes we just begin to live in a reality based upon that trust. For example, you don't state to yourself that previous truth about gravity every time you use or take advantage of gravitational pull.

Strange question though, how long do astronauts have to be in space before there's a re-adjustment for them in experiencing gravity? I'm sure they just begin to experience it and re-adapt. But part of me thinks they have to learn to put their trust in this simple truth.

I'm re-training my head and heart to trust that God really does love me and that, no matter how people attempt to love, God's love is enough to get me through.

"Oh the places you'll go...."

2006-09-27T14:09:00.000-05:00

LKF(little known fact): I hate Dr. Suess.

When I was little, we got a Dr. Suess book from the library, took it home and read it. I told my mom right then and there that I thought it was "too silly" and that I never wanted to read another one. Granted, most people will agree, the rhymes ARE quite silly. And the illistrations are rather odd. But, now I can appreciate both for their whimsy and innovation. So, I don't 'hate' Dr. Suess. I've actually discovered how socially poinent these tales are!

So at my high school graduation... our honor students were, uh, so original (Read: conformists) that they performed a reading of Oh The Places You'll Go. I'm not sure why I was thinking about that, except, here I am once again in Greenville.

Greenville is a really nice place. We never locked our doors while I was growing up, and nearly all the people are the friendliest I've ever found. For example, I just recieved a card from a woman that I saw at church two weeks ago. We'd had a 5 minute conversation about how I was living around here now and looking for a job. Nearly two weeks later, she mails me a card just to encourage me! I'm realistic enough to know that doesn't happen most places!

So the places I've gone... I can't remember all those phrases from the legendary book... but I've gone some crazy places: Champaign-Urbana, Baton Rouge, Universal Studios in Orlando, Wash. DC, Normal ... the depths of Chekhov, Hemmingway, and Shakespeare ... I've wept and rejoiced, I've pondered and I've laughed ... and laughed and laughed. I've done a lot since 1999.

And I'm convinced, I have a lot more to do!

Starting with today: Soccer games for 4 and 5 year olds!

I know it sounds lame, but that's what my life has for me for today! I was convinced it's boring... and sometimes it is. It's also very refreshing... especially for someone like me. My motto has been, if something (and times someone) needs someone to be responsible for it... I'm all over it! Talk about burning out!

Who knows what tomorrow's responsiblities will be. Or what kinds of decisions I really have ahead of me. But for now... I'm gonna find my soccer cleats and my whistle and go play with the kids!

Meebo!

2006-08-04T09:38:00.000-05:00

So Meebo... this great program(?).... a life-changer that's for sure!

Anyways... Meebo came out with a widget for websites.... it let's your site visitors chat with you!
If you're here and reading this.... you'll see what I mean -------------------------------->

While I'm not online and available to talk ALL the time... I do get the messages!

Check it out! And go to meebo.com and "Get your own meebo!"

PS. I promise to blog soon.........

Also, Daily news involving The West Wing

2006-05-24T10:22:00.000-05:00

So, folks at The Daily Show have displayed a wonderful attention to detail again!

You must visit and watch the Plagiarism video!

Who knew that television is such a good predictor of future events in real life!
I'm particularly interested in the West Wing related observation!

24 - Season 5 quotes, SPOILERish

2006-05-24T10:06:00.000-05:00

Favorite Quotes from 24 - Season 5

*Seriously, if you haven't seen the whole season, don't read . . . *

"Martha!" - Aaron
"Aaron!" - Martha

"I'm an engineer!" -petty officer Rooney, explaining why he didn't think he could kill a terrorist.

"Just sit there and do your job. No talking."
"I can do that, but it'd be a terrible waste of my charm." -Morris's response to getting bossed around by his ex-wife, Chloe.

"When I heard you had kidnapped President Logan . . ." -Audrey

"It's been a long day, do you want to get breakfast?"
"I have to get back to Division for debriefing. Bureaucracy! Can I take a rain check?!" -Karen's 'blame-it-on-the-work' tango with Bill Buchanan

"Are you alright?! Do you want to talk about it?" -Seduction by Morris

Ah, the memories! Well, we'll see you again in January, Jack! Good luck with those bad guys until then!

Ray of happiness . . . Clouds of forgetfulness...

2006-05-23T16:49:00.000-05:00

So, yeah! I'm averaging a post a month! Go blogging! (Like, Go RVing!)
Warning, this post might just continue to be shocking . . . take your time! I know the pleasure of a new post is nearly too much, but there's more . . . . keep reading!

Anyways.... Today there was a bright spot! I remembered I own a tent! That's right!
That might have come as a shock to some of you who think I'm . . . high maintainance .... I can chill. I can camp! Ha! (Did I just turn chilling into a competition?)

Trick now is to find someone to go camping with, or have the nerve to go on my own! *scaredy face* Anyone wanna Take Me Fishing?

It's so strange what you can't enjoy when you're forgetful!
I'm starting to suspect that campgear isn't the only area in my life that forgetfulness is preventing me from experiencing happiness/joy.... Woah. How deep is that?! So... I'm gonna try to remember more . . . got any suggestions for remembering or things that I should remember, please comment!

Also... job searching, so you hear or see anything, lemme know, alright?!
I'm currently waiting to hear back from somewhere on campus. A job I'd really enjoy, but the longer the wait, the worse the news . . . we'll see.

In the mean time . . . oh man! I feel like Eeyore! "Think. Think. Think.... Oh, bother."
Well, yeah. This is why I haven't been posting. I run out of things to say or only have weird, boring stuff!

I'm gonna go play some frisbee. Oh! I'll be happy about friends to spend time with!
*Peace*

INVISIBLE CHILDREN - From Jean

2006-04-28T08:44:00.000-05:00

Below is an link to my newest commentor's blog - She did a great job of including some additional resources and pictures!
Check it out!

bluejeanniebeans: INVISIBLE CHILDREN

Invisible Children - Global Night Commute

2006-04-27T10:20:00.000-05:00

People! Check out this site!
Find out if there's a commute happening near you!

See the videos, and read JR's blog about it too!

I think we're doing this (the commute) in Des Moines on a visit there for the Drake Relays!
Even if you can't commute, watch the videos. Find a place to screen the film! Write a letter! And tell people about it. Blog about it! I put it in my signature on my emails!

Let's end a war!

Also, I think I'll host a screening of the DVD - once I get it.
Let me know if you're interested in seeing it.

New Pic

2006-04-27T09:34:00.000-05:00

This image comes to use from January 2005. I received 24 beautiful roses from my wonderful parents for my 24th birthday!

Warning: This post might cause nervousness or irritability. Read at your own risk.

2006-04-23T21:46:00.000-05:00

Admittedly, the last post, lame. Well, not utterly lame, but lacking much creativity.

And to be honest. I'm only writing now because there is no one else to talk to. (Yeah, I know. I'm breaking about 4 blogging rules by posting right now. Only other thing I should do is be drunk and we'd have a full set of broken rules!)

Anyways. Exciting times. Last night, after a few weeks of secret planning and scheming, we aired a 4-part video bit based on the popular television show, 24. (How old did the end of that sentence make me sound?!) The video was aired during Illini Life's Entertainment Night 2006. It was nerve-racking. But so much fun. 12 hours of editing the night before, and much drama over what should be included, even a few plot-level rewrites along the way! Wooh. I really have a lot of respect for movie-making folks now. On-the-fly writers . . . etc.

Oh. So. The 'film' won an award. We won the 'Best use of a legal, addictive stimulant.' (Jack was addicted to Tic-Tacs. I know! Isn't that just great?!

Any-who.

I haven't been posting. Maybe stating the obvious. To be honest, I haven't been journaling or writing much at all. It's not good. There's been stuff happening. Big stuff. Stuff that has seemed to be too over-whelming to write about, even for my own consumption.

I haven't really even felt safe enough with other people to talk to others about it all. It's beginning . . . it is lonely to not have a confidant. I feel like I'm caught in limbo-land. So much transition happening around me, and an inability to trust any one person . . . I feel like I'm burdened and reeling.

I have so very specific wants, urh, hopes? Eh, desires? I dunno. In my mind, I have an enumerated list of things I want to happen. Some of which will require something of me - either specifically doing something or saying something. And I'm not sure I have it in me to do/say something yet. Other things on the list, require stuff from others. And that, I'm afraid to say, I have little hope of happening. I hope, but don't expect. Because even in the hoping, I know I'll experience disappointment. (I'm really a big downer aren't I?!)

I feel like I'm one of those chemistry experiments, where you cause some element/mixture to become excited - or in an excited state. Where it might just boil or explode if it is handled poorly. Boiling - a normal, healthy reaction, for me at this point would be becoming proactive, getting things I want, or at least moving that direction. Exploding - well, that'd mean having some big emotionally breakdown, or learning more specifically how to fool everyone about the actual internal state. . .

Okay, how was that for vague and yet still freakishly open?!
Please comment if you made it this far, tell me what you think, or request specific questions.

:)

European city . . .

2006-04-17T08:37:00.000-05:00

I found the quiz through Ben, who "stole" it from JR.

You Belong in Paris

You enjoy all that life has to offer, and you can appreciate the fine tastes and sites of Paris.
You're the perfect person to wander the streets of Paris aimlessly, enjoying architecture and a crepe.

What European City Do You Belong In?

I wouldn't mind living in Paris. It's what DC is based off of - and DC is sorta my dream US destination right now...

I really wonder if any Italian cities were on the list . . . maybe they are the result if you pick 'relaxed' . . . hmmm.

ACT. . .

2006-03-22T08:47:00.000-06:00

Today is World Water Day. I hope it's not surprise to folks that there are billions of people all over the world that don't have their basic needs met. This includes clean water, adequate shelter, or enough food. Please take the time to read about this specific need today. Post something on your blog. Let's not forget that if you're reading this, the power to help is in your hands and in your wallet.

On a related note, facing the physical needs of this world always makes me think of the emotional and spiritual needs as well. What would the number be if we were looking at those that suffer from despair, loneliness, or fear? I'd bet that you know one of them. You've interacted with them at some point already today. You might be that person. Act. Accept. Love. Include. Not hard things to do. With very little sacrifice, you could make the difference for one person today. Even a quick email can make all the difference.

Proverbs 3:27 says "Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is in your power to act."

If you're wondering who deserves it . . . take a second to read Psalm 139 and keep in mind it applies to everyone.

Also, take a look at the work my brothers and sisters are doing in New Orleans.

Some things to consider . . .

2006-03-08T09:16:00.000-06:00

Here are a few fun reads - although not all of them are particularily 'clean'. (Don't say I didn't warn you.)

People:
Overheard in the Office
Overheard in New York
PostSecret

Animals:
Cute Overboard
Stuff On My Cat
My Cat Hates You

But my favorite so far is right here for you:
****************************

5PM That's a Wrap

Product Manager: You know, I don't like playing dumb.
IT: Yeah, well, I don't either, but sometimes I just have to.

6475 SW Fallbrook Place
Beaverton, Oregon

****************************

-From Overheard in the Office

Happy things . . .

2006-03-06T10:46:00.000-06:00

This weekend, I got to see Little Women the Musical - which was great! I loved it actually.

And I must tell you I'm SO excited that The West Wing resumes on Sunday night! It's been a LONG break for me. . .

Also, it's March. Which means it's finally NOT February. I think this year has just confirmed it, February has the least amount of days because it is the worst month! 6 years running, acutally much longer than that . . . since high school . . . worst month, every year! So, yah! March!

All I can say to March is, "Bring it on!"

Few changes . . . and intent to update later.

2006-03-01T16:52:00.000-06:00

This last week, I made it official. I've stepped down from co-leading the FAR I-Team (i.e. 'small' group). I won't be attending that group any more. Reasons for that are mostly that I needed a break from it. It may not seem like the most appropriate time, but it really is the best for what God has be working on and going through right now.

Tonight, I get to attend an ISR I-Team. I'm excited to see what God has for me there.

I'm about to head over to CRCE to work-out. Woohoo!
I've been so glad that it's been warm and sunny out these past few days. Yesterday, there were two games of flag football happening on the South Quad at 9am! College students out, playing football, 9AM!

Even now, there are about4 different activities happening out there! So exciting!

I intend to update tonight or very soon about some of the wonderful things I learned over this last weekend! About expectations in relationships, healthy balances in dealing with hurt, having hope for the future, how to pursue some passionate interests of mine, how to share God's love with a few specific people in my life, how I might not be alone on a few things, etc. It was an exciting and full weekend, for sure! It's so thrilling to me to see God really pack in a bunch on a weekend that was turned over to Him.
More on all that later!

Woah. Don't step in the emotions . . . it's a little sticky.

2006-02-22T09:32:00.000-06:00

Posting:
Sidenote, before I start, I should have known I had some pretty extreme aspirations naming this blog 'everyday life' - but to clarify, when I named it, I was hoping to capture glimpses of my everyday life, not that I'd post everyday!

Okay, now that I've cleared my conscious . . .

Musings:
It's been cold, but so sunny these last few days! I have been so excited about natural lighting! In fact, on the ride home last night from work - I take the bus - the sun was still above the buildings/trees! I'm excited about the coming seasons of light! Oh! And today I saw moss growing at the base of a tree near the Observatory - my building on campus. How wonderful! It was so green.

Friend:
If you didn't know, my dear friend Micah has left for her 'semester' in Chile! (She's actually there into the summer!) She left last Friday, and I know she'd appreciate a comment or email if you think of it! :)

Communication:
Google Chat - very cool. If you have Gmail or a Google log in, you have Google Chat! The best part of Google Chat, besides the obvious storage/search capabilities, are the emotitives - the smiley faces, that you type in sideways, turn upright! The wink actually winks! There's a monkey face and heart and the one sticking the tongue out actually does it . . . very fun! (Translation: Bobbi is easily amused.)

Mood:
I'm doing well. Much better than say, two or three weeks ago. A number of changes have been made that have been very helpful. I'm only slightly anxious to make thoes changes more concrete and take the next step with them. (On them?! Whatever.) WARNING - Begin personal, emotional section: I have been struggling with two very strong emotional, spiritual clouds of confusion. I'll try to explain.

One of them is linked with the universal desires and needs we all have - connections and acceptance. (Maybe the same as love and purpose, but maybe these fall under feeling loved.) Having connections and feeling accepted have been life-long struggles for me. So I'm not surprised I'm having problems with them now - but through a number of very dear friends, I'm beginning to see that I do have connections and I am accepted. That it might actually be okay to *feel* connected and accepted. That I could actually involve my heart and desires in the connections and acceptance that I already have. (Someone tell me if that makes NO sense!)

The second might be a little easier to understand. I'll give it a try. Uhm. I'm a major romantic. Major. (Surprise? If so, let me know! I like to think I hide it . . .) And while Valentine's Day wasn't a major point of frustration or . . . I guess I'm trying to say I'm not struggling with this because last week was Valentine's Day. But I'm just feeling frustrated that I'm still single. I know it's not 'holy' to struggle with this . . . or admirable. God is supposed to be enough, right? And He is, I'm not, He is. I still struggle with this. It's just hard because there's a well of affection and love that's just waiting for the right person to share it with. And well, to carry on the metaphor, the well seems full and ready to burst at times.

Okay. I'm done. :)

Thanks Ben . . . Another Quiz! My Favorite kind . . . Books!

2006-02-10T09:11:00.001-06:00

You're Catch-22!

by Joseph Heller

Incredibly witty and funny, you have a taste for irony in all that you see. It seems that life has put you in perpetually untenable situations, and your sense of humor is all that gets you through them. These experiences have also made you an ardent pacifist, though you present your message with tongue sewn into cheek. You could coin a phrase that replaces the word "paradox" for millions of people.

Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

Word.

PS - 'Covering'

2006-02-07T09:32:00.000-06:00

P.S. - Who decided that 'Covering' was an acceptable thing? I know imitation is supposed to be "the sincerest form of flattery" but covering usually doesn't really mean imitation!

It means, "I know you wrote and/or performed this first and originally, but I think I can do it better and make it my own. And you can't say anything about it!" So yeah, you have to give credit when you 'cover' but still, it's not an acceptable practice in any other genre of creation. No one gets away with 'covering' Monet! Or wait, is that what reprints are?

But still, you can't 'cover' a term paper or a thesis! Yeah, I'd like to see one of the undergrads try this, quote or re-write a famous paper in your field of study, only make sure it's very obvious to any reader that it was someone else work, and when you face the instructor, or eventually the disciplinary board, just tell them you were 'covering' the original work. Report back to me, I'd like to see how that goes over!

As much as I don't like the idea of 'covering' - I must say, I prefer some 'covers' to the original work. Especially when it's across genres.
(Respectfully bows head, and takes a graceful step back, down off of the soap box.)

Stew of my mind. . .

2006-02-07T09:01:00.000-06:00

Google gets it! I already use Gmail as a chat client. New email?! Great, write them back, and get an answer very quickly! I think the record is 25 messages on one topic with only one other person. Why not chat in gmail? Check it out:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/technology/4688410.stm

So yesterday was my dear friend Margaret's birthday! We had fun partying at her place last night. We played an rather unusual game called Fact or Crap. Well, you read a sentence, try and determine if it's face or crap. Most are fact-sounding statements but the crap ones aren't true. Get it? Well, today, I decided that the best statement to put into that game is: This fact is total crap. I'm not sure if the card would have the answer or if the reader would get to determine. But it'd make that round a little more interesting.

I must say, I don't really like those dreams you have that seem real - the ones you remember during the day after you've had the dream and can't remember if they were a dream or actually happened. For me, someone that can't hardly remember my name day-to-day, it adds a whole other dimension to this 'reality' thing! I hate it. Because either way, whether the dream was 'bad' or 'good', it wasn't true! So you're stuck wishing the 'good' was true, but it's not. OR! You're just having a bad dream that felt true! Raw deal!

So, I inherited a new CD - Derek Webb's She Must and Shall Go Free - but it's a special version. Only 3 songs. They're good, but not the point here. :) There's an introduction to his topic on the inside. He talked about his affection for the Church. He writes about how "God would rather die than be without(::edit::) Her, and She is both wretched and radiant." Something I want to think on more. How as the Church (note the big 'C') we are what God has sacrificed and suffered more than we'll ever be able to conceive! How we're so desired and longed for, how our affection is horribly painful to Him and yet the one thing He craves. Strong and powerful thoughts, especially when normal life in a church (note lack of capitalization) is difficult, painful, and doesn't look all that pretty at times because we're so close to it. How unity within the church (and even the Church) is difficult but a necessary step to beautification. . . and growth.

Anyways, I need to think on the sometime soon when I have more time.

Woah, Lot's to say!

2006-02-03T08:35:00.000-06:00

I think I miss about Xanga posts is the 'Currently . . .' bit. (Listening, Watching, Reading)
I miss it more right now because I'd like to tell you about the free streaming radio from AOL radio. I'm loving it - I might like it more than LaunchCast - The Loft (XM 50) is my favorite, it's a great way to hear new sounds, at least for me. Plus, they do 'wake up' for all the time zones, which means that I get nice 'wake-up' music for 2 to 3 hours depending upon my arrival at work. Good times!

So, I've gotten really good at doing this distract and change the subject trick in conversations, and now even on my own blog! Great huh?

I wanted to write about some of the stuff going on - and not do any more of those silly prompts!
But there's a lot going on. Some of which just isn't blog material. (Take that for what it's worth!)
I've broken things down into a few categories and am just going to fill in the categories.

Work: Have been bored.
Thought we'd be taking about post 8/15/06 in March. (1 year position ends then) But found out that it'll be 'summer' before we can really discuss and figure it out. I'm not sure if I want to stay here . . . in town, which leads to . . .

The Future: Is of course unknown.
(And scary.) But I have been playing around with the idea of leaving. Although, it might not be until fall '07. I mean, it's just February, but I'm also ready to sign a lease for 8/06-8/07! So, it's confusing. I guess I'm not sold just yet on leaving, and at the same time I kind of like the idea. I don't know what I'll be doing - job-wise - after 8/15/07, so we'll just see!

Emotional: Going through a lot.
Ups and downs have been a significant trend the last few months, but I've made some really good decisions. Some that have made it easier to love others, and a lot that have made it easier to love and respect myself. (Go figure!) It's not all there, and I'm still figuring out how to accept love from others - thankfully, grace and love are in large supply around here! My head is starting to accept love, and my heart can't be too far behind in believing it . . . I'm actually scared and *very* excited to see this change happening and can't wait until I can recognize my heart's belief in others' love. What a happy day!

Paranoid: What's new?!
I have a mild sense of constant paranoia. Pretty much about everything. A few of them are listed here for your amusement and education on me: Am I being overly emotional? Am I creating drama for the sake of it? Am I too intense? Why aren't I fun?! Am I just being stupid? (End list) So that's that. Between these (and others not listed here) and the emotional jet lag I'm feeling, it's been really difficult to stay out of my head. (In the healthy way, you know, not thinking too much.) Luckily, I have a great God and wonderful friends that allow me to freak out and then gently (and directly!) remind me of the Truth. God loves me, chose me, is doing stuff to refine me, has a plan for me, and enjoys me. I'm really excited about these truths! Which brings us to . . .

The Hope level: It's a new thing.
I think everyone should have a Hope'O'Meter - they could wear it on their shoulder. (Maybe instead of their heart?) Wouldn't it be so good to understand how much hope your friends have? Or your professor? Wouldn't that make it so much easier to understand that we must share our hope with others? Wouldn't it be a powerful moment when you realize (or actually see) how your hurried words or sarcastic comment actually lowered someone's hope level?! My hope level has had some significant low points this last week. But I've also seen it soar! God has put some amazing and loving folks around me! Such a wide range of love that it could only be God's love coming through: Emails from I-Teamers when I wasn't there on Wednesday, Laura with my favorite bagel (Asiago) on *the day* I was bummed we don't have a Panera on campus any longer, a quick lunch-time walk with Liz that ended in getting help for a work project, quick response and mobolization of a number of people to relieve a harmful situation, a roommate that stays up late and puts off homework to check in with me when I didn't want to ask for help. (Luv ya 'Stine!)

The list could go on, but my Hope Level is doing pretty well!

Strange sightings: Tango/Web Instructor?
So a few years ago, I took a web-design class. It was fun, I picked up on it really easily and enjoyed it immensely. Well, later after the class ended, I found a page created by him for a favorite activity. Tango. Okay, I totally respect this fellow, I just want to say. But there's now a level of discomfort for me when I run into him on campus. I can't explain it. I really am excited he's so into this, but it feels odd to know he also teaches Tango. Maybe I just didn't have him pegged and a Tango sort of fellow! (Go Joe!) I can't say that I wouldn't want to take lessons and/or eventually drag someone to take classes with me. But that's for another season of life.

I think that's if for now! Look, I got personal, vague at times, but personal! Aren't you proud?!
PS: Blogger Spell Check makes suggestions for the world 'blog'! Trustworthy? We think not! (Not sure who 'we' is just yet! I think I assume you agree with me!)

News from home, Vitamin D, Small World

2006-02-01T13:20:00.000-06:00

New from home: (check out the caption)

DRIVE UP MAILBOX BACK IN FRONT OF POST OFFICE

Welcome back, old friend!

The drive up mailbox is back in front of the Greenville post office after about three weeks without one. The old box was knocked over by vehicles three times in early January. According to Greenville Post Master Sylvia Brown the legs were bent making the old box a hazard. The order for a replacement was placed several weeks ago but due to a shortage of installers it took a while to get the new one installed. A crew of eight men, two of which are on leave at this time, service over 800 post offices in the St. Louis Metro area.

Via WGEL Daily.

No, I didn't hit the mail box. But how did it get hit 3 times?!

Vitamin D
Went for a walk during lunch today. It was windy but also very sunny! Happy for that! I haven't taken a walk during the noon time in number of months! It was a grand time!

Small World
Found out my good friend Liz's boss was once an instructor for me during undergrad, and she had taught a fellow about the same time as my class with a fellow (Jim) that had been a TA for me during my time at GSLIS, who's job I actually had last spring when he left!

What a strange, small world! Kind of fun too!
Feeling much better today than I have for many weeks, maybe even months. I have hope.

Peace . . .

2006-01-30T14:19:00.000-06:00

There's a level of necessary recklessness in my life today. Maybe it's my empathy with the weather - frustrated rain with touches of heedless fatalism and performance. Maybe it's just that I had a horrid morning - feeling like an complete fool and idiot before 9:00 a.m.

You may not even be able to tell how reckless I feel by looking at me, or even by reading this. Lunch was a fast-paced walk - hair curling wildly in the mist and the wind - to get food that I know I shouldn't be eating. (Keep me away from an ATM or shopping today!) I feel ready to burst - ready to do something stupid and then to make up for that, do something even more stupid! I feel like using language that would get attention, even if I'm not mad or angry enough to use.

Instead, I'm sitting in an office, chewing Super Bubble. We'll wait for the carelessness to pass, so I can go back to the regularly scheduled, frustrated, confused, anxiety-rittled, self-concious critic and get on with work, life, and the rest of it all.

~

Sick and Tired . . .

2006-01-26T23:15:00.000-06:00

Okay, for real.
Tired and sick - so going to bed. . . but wanted to say God's provided a lot of great friends that care a lot about me - how cool?!

So that when things - mostly lies and wrong beliefs start making my world seem cold, dark, and spinning out of control - I have people around me pointing to the horizon saying, "Look! There's the Light! It will be here soon! Just keep waiting - I'm waiting too. We can wait together!"

That's my insight into life for now.
Good night.

Entertainment, Realness, and Response

2006-01-25T10:49:00.000-06:00

Entertainment

So, one of the funniest things about being in college were the random things that happened on campus. Here is a group that has taken advantage that forgiving college students provide. (Also, what urban masses provide too!) I really like the Lecture and the Library musicals!

::Edit:: Also, I've found that the eHow tip of the day are VERY entertaining too! Today's tip?
How to Clean a Dog's Ears.

Realness

So, I've enjoyed having these prompts provide a reason to hop on a write a little. (Although, I'm pretty confident that I'm the only one that ever visits. . .) But I've also realized that these prompts allow for me to write some and not really reveal much of what is going on in my life - which is fine for some blogs. I was hoping that I'd include more of my daily life here - instead of just some answers to generic questions that specifically ask for opinions. So . . .

Here's what's been going on:
I feel like I've been sick for weeks. But maybe I'm just not getting enough sleep? I had a sore throat and stayed home from work yesterday. My voice has been going in and out - but the doctor didn't seem to find anything wrong with me! Go figure. Also, HMO's are ridiculous! Apparently, my doctor visit was covered, but the doctor I saw isn't covered by the same HMO's perscription policy! So, if I wanted to have my perscription (for albuterol, inhaler for asthmatics) covered, I'd have to go back to another doctor and have them re-write the perscription. How stupid is that?

I've been attending a New Testament Survey course with Urbana Theological Seminary (UTS) and I'm really enjoying it. I can't wait until we get into the text - it's been all background sorts of stuff. But still very cool.

New semester has kicked off here at the University of Illinois - and so 'small group' has started again. There are a number of changes - people leaving, returning, etc. It's taking some adjustments and grace to get through it all. I'm trying to keep a positive attitude about everything and yet still be myself. I'm trying to talk some of these changes out with close friends so that I don't just give myself a hard time internally about my feelings and how these situations effect me. There are a lot of factors and unfortunately, I tend to be self-focused about what I've done or not done to cause such events. I'm growing, okay?!

I'm trying, pretty much on a daily basis, to not become overwhelmed by all the options and various decisions that are facing me in the next 2-6 months. I know we're not to worry about tomorrow because it'll worry for itself [paraphrase?! :)] But I'm trying to look at the decisions from all the angles. (Okay, that even sounds like an excuse to me!)

ALRIGHT! Enough personal stuff! (That was all still pretty generic.)

Response

Q: What is the worst thing parents can do to their children?
I think the worst thing parents (or any authority figures) can do to children is to discourage children in figuring out who they are and what they can do. Sometimes this is very apparent. Teachers being verbal bullies of students that really need to be encouraged - the 'encouragement' comes through public ridicule or negative re-enforcement. Or through direct abuse from any adult. But I think other times it's very subtle. It's the parent that it too controlling or not involved enough. It's the teacher that thinks they know the student because they're friends with the student's parent. Or because the student is quite or too talkative. Assumptions play a huge part in this problem. I think it also includes the parent who expects too much from their child or thinks they understand their child but doesn't allow the child to find themself!

Okay. Enjoy what is a sunny day in Illinois!

Sad news for the Wing and neighbor . . .

2006-01-23T12:48:00.000-06:00

So, there is some sadness in my life right now . . . After 7 long years, NBC is ending The West Wing. But what makes the news hardest to deal with is that, well, we are headed into a over a month-long hiatus of new episodes. (Stinkin' Olympics.)

Writing Project: (I'm wondering if these are going to be really boring. If there is a better list of prompts out there, someone please send them to me!)

What is a good neighbor?

A good neighbor (or neighbour if you prefer) is someone that looks out for your best interest. Someone that will share the burden of life with you. Someone that makes you feel less alone in the struggles and joys that we all experience. It's not just someone you share a fence or a line in the dirt with. Or even someone you just ask for that last 1/4 cup of sugar when you're in the middle of a rainy weekend baking project. Or someone that you try to out-do with Christmas lights and decorations or weed-less green yard. Although, some of that could be true too! A neighbor is someone you trust with the extra key, and your cellphone number, and maybe even getting your mail - so that when they go on a long vacation, you can pick up their mail, turn off the oven, and call in case of an emergency, too!

Real example: a neighbor is someone that lives and loves close enough that they not only agree to stop by your house to make sure you locked your front door but also laughs at how silly it is that you're so worried about it after driving for an hour that you'd have to call them and ask! (Thanks Rachel!)

Getting along and Favorite Room

2006-01-19T11:14:00.000-06:00

Must tell you about this very sweet and cool thing that is happening at a zoo in Japan! Well, the BBC article captures it so well! But it gives me hope that I can get along with those I differ from - even if we seem like we're different species. Or even be good friends. And who doesn't want that kind of hope?!

So today's question: What is your favorite room in your home and why?

I think it has to be my bedroom. Typical huh? My room is on the first floor of our 3 story house, right off of the dining room. I like it because well, I have my most favorite books and things there, including a bed full of comfy pillows. It's a place that, when it's clean, can be used to entertain others - there are a few places to sit and a place to work, etc. And I can leave the door open and be part of the community that happens in the house, or close the door and have my own space away from the pressures of living with others.

Runners up:
Living room - comfy couches, lotsa girly movies, and still, a Christmas tree!
Christine's room - comfy chairs, lotsa games, and it's a good place to tell people secrets

Alright, ciao. and . . .
Buon compleanno a me

A writing project. . .

2006-01-18T11:33:00.000-06:00

So I found a list of prompts for journal writing. I'm going to work my way through them. Some are quite interesting, while others might be boring or too personal(?). So there's the plan.

The list of prompts are here: http://www.canteach.ca/elementary/prompts.html

The first question is: What is something you dislike about yourself?
I think I answered that question pretty well yesterday, so let's move on. But, if I could add one thing, I don't like being timid.

Question two: What is something you do well?

Oh well. I type really fast in IM. I think I plan/prep/host parties pretty well. I'm also VERY good at avoiding topics of conversation or changing the subject so I don't have to fully answer a question! I'm pretty good at criticizing web layouts, and crochet. I'm good at swimming and teaching others good techniques to swim faster. Plus, I have a natural ability to break down information and teach it in unique ways.

Is that enough? Some others would say that I'm good at making people feel at ease, being an empathetic listener, and giving unsolicited advice. Oooooh. I'm also sorta witty at times, and can really communicate care for others.

Yeah. I think I'm done.

Worst Version . . .

2006-01-17T22:14:00.000-06:00

So, some character in some movie onced asked, "Do you ever feel like you've become the worst version of yourself?" I think it's Tom Hanks' character in You've Got Mail, right before he asks if she want to 'meet.'

Well. Welcome to my world.

Somehow I'm so personally pessimistic that I not only think the worst of myself, but also the worst of the world in regards to myself - although, to be honest, I've seen my predictions fail at times. But it's horrible when your worst fears come true.

Today, it's birthday planning. Tomorrow, who knows, it'll probably be about being a bad friend, or doing something wrong or stupid at I-Team.

I won't even bother to count the number of folks I annoyed and just general pissed off today with the planning of a celebration I don't normally want to have anyways. It was enough people, let's just leave it at that.

When really, the whole time, I'm just concerned that people would want to celebrate or not! Ach.

So what started out as an idea, something I actually chose and was excited about doing, has become potentially two days or accommodating other peoples schedule, restrictions, concerns, anxieties, and just generally not doing what I wanted to do in the first place. Which, in turn, has caused me to give up on any of my expectations - which, I thought weren't all that big anyways - and I'm not ready to do exactly what I have to do and then blow the rest of the world off. I also get to live with these voices telling me that I'm too nice to plan even my own party, and that I care too much what other people think, and that I'm too selfish to only want to do things 'my' way. That I'm probably better off not having anything to invite people to because then them not showing up won't be a big deal or dissappointment.

Besides, isn't it easier to be dissappointed in yourself than in others?
That's my birthday present to myself.

Not Really 'Everyday' . . .

2005-10-20T10:27:00.000-05:00

especially when it takes nearly a year to post a new entry!

I haven't been using this page (or my Xanga page) as much as I'd like. I thought I'd have this great space to work out thoughts and ideas, yet, like most bloggers, other interests have prevented the creative flow! Darn.

Well, in case anyone were to actually read or care, since my last post, I've:

Left grad school
Started working full-time/hourly
Had to look for a new job
Made a lot of new friends
Moved
Begun a new job
Grown a year older
Learned much more about myself and the people around me
Crocheted two baby afghans
Said good-bye to some great friends
Gone to 5 weddings, 2 graduations, 9 birthday parties, and 6 going-away parties
Visited St. Louis, Chicago, Indianapolis, Massachuetts, Pennslyvania, Kansas City, Milwaukee
Volunteered in Baton Rouge at the River Center Red Cross shelter
Went to Busch Stadium one last time
Started a Flickr account

I'm sure I've done a few other things, but that's what I came up with off the top of my head.
Ciao.

In the Good Ole' Summertime . . .

2005-06-17T10:30:00.000-05:00

Again, (I think) why did I ever name is the 'everday life' when I post once every 7 months?!

Moving on . . .
It's summer. Okay, I'll try again. It's Summer. Alright. I guess I'm not as excited about summer as those elementary children are . . . the grandure is gone. This glitz has worn off. . .

Let me explain. . . This summer isn't going that bad. Work has been fine. I'm still waiting to hear about a particular full-time job I want. And still having a lot of joy out of helping GSLIS users!

It's a break from time with the FAR crew - but I miss them . . . and a time to enjoy Summer Church. A time to start a new small group book study - I'm sure it'll be great!

But then we get to the hard stuff . . . moving out of the house! What a job! There are major amounts of 'junk' left by former roommates and their various friends and family members . . . and all of it just got dumped in our front room! ARRRGGGGGGG. And now, in a month and a half, we've got to get it all out of our house! Wish us luck!

And, so many of my close-est friends aren't around this summer . . . some have moved across the country, some have moved and are out of contact, some are in CO for the summer. I suppose it's giving me room to meet and get closer to folks that are still around C-U for the summer, but I miss those that are so dear to me. . .

It's been great to go to so many weddings . . . I'm so happy to celebrate with all the new families!
But sometimes it's bittersweet because I become so much more aware of how very single I am . . . hmm.

Alright. I've rambled on enough here.
It's SUMMER!!! Go on outside and enjoy the sun - stop staring at this computer! ;)

Delighted by Joy

2004-11-17T09:35:00.000-06:00

So yesterday I was to help lead my small group in an expression of celebration and joy. To do so, I spent the day looking for joy in my everyday activities. Surprisingly, it was not that hard.

There were things that I found joy in that were very simple and I would have missed without looking for them. And there were some things I found joy in that would have caused me celebration anyways.

For me, it was surprising how many little things, some were circumstantial I suppose, that brought me joy. For instance, I already had water left over in my water bottle so I didn't have to get up in the middle of class for a drink of water. No major problems at work and the ability to help resolve some problems for others! I normally have this opportunity everyday - but neglect to find joy in it!

Some other things I'd like to share that happened yesterday:

-I got a note from the landlord that I did a "Perfect parking" job!
-I heard some life-changing, ridiculously-good news from a wonderful friend!!!!!!!!!
-I got to leave work early, no strings attached!
-I got to have lunch with some of my silliest roommates and we laughed for nearly an hour!
-We had a really wonderful time at small group celebrating together. I really love that whole group!

I did want to make note - for myself than for others - that celebration and joy are both separate from hyper-ness. Granted, when I was celebrating, I did become hyper at moments, but the joy I experienced and some of my celebration did not cause hyperness or cross over into hyperness just a profound contentment.

Anyways, I'm glad I got to share this with anyone that is reading or interested. Comment if you get a chance - tell me what makes you joyful! How do you experience joy? What is your favorite way to celebrate?

:)

Life Keeps Moving On

2004-10-26T16:56:00.000-05:00

I've heard it before, and I'm sure everyone else has too. But life doesn't ever seem to slow down, does it?

This thought came into focus today for me - I was journaling, on paper, and realized that my long-time best friend, Cheryl, is getting married in May.

Her wedding is 7 months away!

7! (Alright, roll the flash-back sequence . . .)

Okay, maybe its not a big shocker to you. You just got introduced to her. But it's huge for me! I've known her since we were 5 or 6! It was just a few years ago that we would dress up and make-believe a wedding. What is she doing actually getting married??!!

Okay, maybe that sounds mean. It is okay that she's getting married, the guy is great - no problems there. But really! She'll be 24 . . .24? Yeah, 24. We aren't really that old are we?!

I mean, in the huge scheme of things, we aren't that old, I realize. And my mom was married and pregnant with me at the age I am now - which is weird.

But we're talking about my childhood friend. Who gave her permission to do this?! Who said it was alright, and that it was the right time?!

I'm starting to feel like Anne of Green Gables - Why do things have to change? Why can't life stay the same for awhile? Why wasn't I warned as an 8 year old that make-believe wasn't going to last?! Why didn't anyone tell me that we will have to make life-changing decisions and then really live with the consequences . . ! And when did my decisions really have such huge consequences?

Okay, I wish I was past this point, had some wisdom about this, or even just knew how to get over how freaky this is, and how to not flip out about this anymore - but I'm not there yet.
Maybe later, I'll be more mature about it all. Right now, I just want to stomp my foot and cry.

I'll make it though.

Journals and Culture and Freedom

2004-10-19T15:12:00.000-05:00

I was showing off my blog today at work and one of my co-workers, we'll call her 'Lily of Two Cities' was telling me about her experience with journals/diaries.

She said that when she was growing up in China, her mom told her she shouldn't keep a diary. This shocked me. I was pushed so much during my life to write in a journal by my parents, teachers, and mentors. They all nurtured a skill that I've come to cherish later on in life - writing. I didn't really begin a consistent journal until my first year as an undergraduate, but 6 years later, I'm still writing on a consistent basis. Any time I am able, I encourage others to begin their own journal!

'Lily' explained to me why her mom discouraged this practice. Lily said that there was a rash of individuals in China who had had their journals used against them in pursecution. She shared with me that even in middle school, when a teacher required 3 entries a week in a journal, Lily lied in all but 3 entries for the entire year. I can understand the tweaked journal entries, especially for a class when a teacher is going to be reading what I wrote. It seems unfair for a teacher to expect to have that kind of priviledge to read students' journals. - but then again, I don't know the whole story.

How shocking though that people would be persecuted for their journals. I do know that in the United States that a journal or private writings can be subpoenad for evidence in court. I'm not sure what the legal and cultural differences really are, but how thankful should we be that aside from participating in illegal behavior, our right and privacy to journal is protected?!

Just yet another way I have come to appreciate our liberties that I previously took for granted.

Dreams and Thunderstorms

2004-10-18T20:08:00.000-05:00

So last night, Urbana was pounded by a huge thunderstorm. I was asleep.

My bed is against a south-facing window and faces into a room with three west-facing windows. My room was bright during the storm. I went to bed really late last night and was very tired. So when the storm started, around 5 or 6am, my brain just incorporated the storm into my dreams.

The flashes appeared to me as, well, as camera flashes! I felt like I was being hounded by the 'press' . . . I still don't know why. And then the house-rumbling thunder sounded like a train to me - I think I was dreaming I was on a train . . .

I didn't realize there was a storm until I woke up a house-mate at 7:15am and she asked if I'd slept through the storm. Freakish.